Small Snippets From 12 Grimmauld Place
by Drummers
Summary: The scene of the Small Snippets has shifted; now mainly concentrated in 12, Grimmauld Place. Still the same Lupin, though, no fear!
1. The Day Everyone Started To Think

The Day Everyone Began To Think Differently About Lupin, But All With Different Purposes  
  
It was an early summer morning in 12, Grimmauld Place, and Remus Lupin was enjoying the fresh morning air and the particular quiet. He was alone, for now, and standing in front of his bedroom window. The window was open wide, and the soft breeze that came in through it played around with the curtains and kindled Lupin's bare chest. His eyes closed, he took in every ray of the early sunshine.  
  
As he heard the people in the rooms around him wake up and bustle around, he decided it would be time for him to start to play some music. He picked a CD Sirius had given him for his last birthday, and put it in the CD- player. He smiled pleasantly as his ears were touched with the sounds of The Smiths. Humming softly, he picked up a book and sat down on the window- sill.  
  
There was a soft knock on his door, and he looked up. "Come in," he called.  
  
Tonks stepped into his room, a curious expression on her face. Her spiky, pink hair was still unkempt and she wasn't dressed yet. She shuffled further into the room and closed the door.  
  
"Wotcher, Remus," she said, still a bit sleepily, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her over-sized shirt. "What are you doing?"  
  
"I was reading some poetry," answered Lupin, holding up his book. "Why?"  
  
"Just wondering," shrugged Tonks. "What kind of poetry?"  
  
"Donne's songs and sonnets," said Lupin. "Do you know them?"  
  
"Nah, I'm not too deep into that sort of thing," said Tonks.  
  
"You can borrow them, if you like," smiled Lupin. "I've already read them a couple of times!"  
  
Tonks took the book he held out for her. "Thanks," she said. "I was pretty bored, I had nothing to do."  
  
"These will give you something to do," winked Lupin. "They're clever buggers, don't let yourself be fooled!"  
  
"Okay," said Tonks, only a little uncertain about the wink. She shuffled back out of the room.  
  
Only ten minutes later, when Lupin had just finished shaving himself, there was another knock on the door. "Come in," Lupin called again.  
  
Sirius entered, just as Lupin started to sing along loudly to Pretty Girls Make Graves. Sirius raised his eyebrows in surprise, as Lupin proclaimed, "Oh, I'm not the man you think I am/  
  
I'm not the man you think I am!" Sirius coughed softly to attract Lupin's attention again.  
  
"Oh, good morning, Sirius," said Lupin, wheeling around, trying to button up his shirt but failing.  
  
"Good morning, Remus," purred Sirius, smiling attractively. "Will I help you with that?" he added, pointing at Lupin's shirt.  
  
"Eh," was all Lupin could say before Sirius started buttoning the shirt up, anyway. Lupin didn't mind much, though; it had happened in the past. Carelessly, he began to sing along again, not paying attention to WHAT he was actually singing.  
  
"I lost my faith in Womanhood/  
  
I lost my faith in Womanhood/  
  
I lost my faith .../  
  
Oh .../"  
  
Sirius's hands had grown clammy, and he noticed they were trembling as he tried to put another button through its righteous hole.  
  
"There," he said, finally managing a third button, the shirt now extremely wrinkled up. "That's it."  
  
" 's That all?" Lupin asked, looking down at his shirt in surprise and disappointment. Sirius had surely done better!  
  
"Yes, that's it for now," answered Sirius, fondly patting the three last buttons on Lupin's shirt that kept his collar generously open. "You might like a bit of fresh air on your - er - neck."  
  
Lupin blinked, but said, "Okay." He was slightly disturbed by the way Sirius kept stealing suspicious glances over his shoulder as he left.  
  
Downstairs, in the kitchen, Molly Weasley had noticed the book Tonks was reading as she absent-mindedly poked her bacon with her fork. She had to look twice before she realised the girl was reading Donne.  
  
"Where did you get that book?" Mrs Weasley demanded slightly alarmed.  
  
Tonks looked up in surprise. "Remus gave it to me, he liked them, said I should read them. I didn't have anything to do anyway," she said, curious to know why Mrs Weasley behaved so oddly.  
  
"Did he now?" Mrs Weasley said. "And did he also tell you what his favourites were?"  
  
"Oh, no," said Tonks. "But he's marked them with pencil."  
  
"Could I have a look?" asked Mrs Weasley unnaturally kind.  
  
"Sure," Tonks said, handing her the book, slightly scared.  
  
Mrs Weasley flipped through the pages and found what she had been looking for; underlined was 'Elegy 19', and in particular two lines halfway through the poem: 'Licence my roving hands, and let them go/ Before, behind, between, above, below.' Mrs Weasley flushed crimson.  
  
"What's up?" Tonks asked worriedly.  
  
"Nothing," muttered Mrs Weasley, still blushing fiercely, handing Tonks her book back.  
  
Tonks wasn't at ease, fluttered through the pages herself and found the lines that had made Mrs Weasley blush. She read them over a few times, and when she realised what they meant, she got a colour to compete with Mrs Weasley's.  
  
Sirius entered the kitchen, a large grin platered across his face. Mrs Weasley looked him up and down and asked suspiciously, "Why are you so happy?"  
  
Pulling his face straight, Sirius formulated an answer. "I have good reason to believe Remus J. Lupin, the werewolf we are all so fond of, is, in fact, gay, or in other words, homosexual," he said solemnly after some time.  
  
"He isn't," Tonks said sharply. Mrs Weasley looked from her to Sirius, and nodded.  
  
"WE, in fact, have enough reason to believe he's a pervert," she said.  
  
"No, we don't," Tonks said indignantly. "Here, read these lines," she told Sirius, handing him the poem. "They at least would state he's NOT gay. Personally, I didn't think them perverted, but SENSUAL," she added, shooting daggers at Mrs Weasley.  
  
"Suit yourself," Mrs Weasley muttered, going back to baking more eggs.  
  
Sirius and Tonks were still involved in a heated discussion on Lupin's sexuality, when the former entered the kitchen, melancholically whistling There Is A Light That Never Goes Out.  
  
"Hello everyone," he said, waving at Sirius, Tonks and Mrs Weasley. Tonks asd Sirius had fallen very quiet as soon as Lupin had entered and looked at him apprehensively.  
  
Lupin sensed something was wrong, and frowned, looking at the two of them, sitting at the large oak table. "What is it?" he asked.  
  
"Long story," answered Sirius, waving a hand. "We actually wanted to ask you something rather personal."  
  
"Oh," said Lupin, mildly surprised. "Like what?"  
  
"Are - are you - well, er - are you gay?" Sirius stuttered.  
  
Lupin raised his eyebrows, then said, "No."  
  
Tonks cheered and Sirius fumed.  
  
"But are you straight?" asked Mrs Weasley with a strange note in her voice.  
  
Lupin grinned cheekily. "What do YOU think?" 


	2. The Day Lupin Went To Legoland

The Day Lupin Went To Legoland, While Wearing A Small Bowler Hat, To Discover He Actually Did Not Like Cheese Sandwiches, Much To The Discontent Of The Various People Assembled Around The Model Of The Tower Of London  
  
"Right," said Lupin slowly, staring at the title.  
  
- THE END - 


	3. The Day Everyone Kept Bumping Into Lupin

A/N: For those of you who hadn't notived yet: this is somewhat a sequel to 'Small Snippets From Lupin's Daily Life'. If you find any of the situations here confusing, you could read the other Snippets first. They might clear things up, they might confuse you even further. But that's the risk you'll be taking.  
  
The Day Everyone Kept Bumping Into Lupin On Purpose  
  
It was a busy day for the occupants of 12, Grimmauld Place. Harry Potter had just arrived the night before and everyone had a busy time settling him in and making him at ease.  
  
It happened, therefore, a lot more often than was usual, that people kept bumping into Lupin.  
  
The first time it happened that day it was completely excusable, since Lupin had been going down the stairs and Fred and George up. They grinned at him like mad and made their apologies over and over, all the while bumping into him some more. Slightly distracted, Lupin finally reached the bottom of the stairs, only to bump into Snape.  
  
"Watch it, would you," Snape spat at Lupin, who recoiled and stepped backwards - just enough to bump into Mrs Weasley, who was carrying a large tray of china. The tray and the china fell to the floor, causing loud crashing noises, which, in turn, woke Mrs Black's portrait.  
  
"Scum! Filth! Abominations! Half-breeds! Werewolves!" she howled. "How dare you! Break into my house and smash my china!"  
  
"Oh, really sorry, I'm so sorry," said Lupin, slightly in shock.  
  
"Oh, shut up," growled Sirius, pulling Mrs Black's curtain back over the portrait. "Snape was only just leaving, don't worry." Snape shot him a nasty look, but refrained from making a comment and plainly left.  
  
"Hey Remus," Sirius said, grinning about as madly as the twins. Then, for absolutely no ostensible reason, he bumped into Lupin.  
  
"What was that for?" Lupin asked Sirius, rubbing his left arm where Sirius had painfully bumped into him.  
  
"Ah, yes, I just wanted to 'bump' into you," said Sirius, grinning and winking.  
  
"Right," said Lupin, deciding it would be better to get to the kitchen.  
  
Just as he entered the kitchen, Tonks wanted to leave. He stepped aside for her to pass, but instead she made directly towards him and softly bumped into Lupin.  
  
"But, I made room!" spluttered Lupin, at a loss. "Why did you bump into me?"  
  
"You know, I'm so clumsy," said Tonks, also winking. "Wotcher, Remus," she added, brushing her hand lightly over his cheek as she left. Lupin just gaped at her.  
  
"Right," he repeated.  
  
He had some time on his own in the kitchen, thinking the other's actions over. How could they believe he was so naïve as to not see they were constantly bumping into him on purpose? As he stroked his chin thoughtfully, he prepared to teach them a lesson.  
  
"OooooOooh, Fred, I'm soooo sorry," Lupin said, slapping his face in mock disbelieve. "I can't believe I just bumped into you!"  
  
Fred and George goggled at him. Fred was covered in the Hippogriff droppings Lupin had been carrying around on a plate. Stupid as that may have seemed in the first place, the droppings DID serve their purpose. Lupin excused himself and stole off to the kitchen.  
  
On his way there, though, he encountered Sirius, who flashed a smile at him, just before he realised Lupin was driving him up against the wall.  
  
"Gods, Remus, what are you doing?" said Sirius, apparently really taken aback.  
  
"Dear me, Sirius," said Lupin, softly touching Sirius's hips with his hands. "I guess I bumped into you there, didn't I?" Although he was slightly less tall than Sirius, he had completely overpowered him. Sirius had gone pale and was trembling all over before Lupin finally released him.  
  
"Got to dash," Lupin managed to say in the most faggy way he could come up with, and left Sirius to blink at his back.  
  
In the kitchen, Lupin had his second encounter with Tonks.  
  
"Hi," he said, walking straight into her. She looked up at him, puzzled, and tried to get past him, but failed, as he kept blocking her way so she kept bumping into him.  
  
"Would you please stop that," she said after some five bumps and increase of irritation. "I'd like to pass."  
  
"Oh, I actually thought you'd like to come close to a male body," Lupin said off-handed.  
  
Tonks blinked at him in fear, flushing scarlet. Her colour clashed violently with her hair. He softly stroked her hair, actually feeling a small tinge of remorse for putting her through this. He leaned forward just a bit more, and kissed her cheek.  
  
"I'm sorry if I hurt you," he whispered in her ear, meaning it.  
  
"That's okay," Tonks said, not daring to meet his eye and colouring more deeply all the while. Lupin smiled at her, and she smiled back, though still weakly. He smiled somewhat broader, and she smiled broader, too. His grin acquired Cheshire-cat proportions and so did hers.  
  
"That's better," said Lupin appreciative. "I've got to go do something."  
  
"Okay," Tonks said, and he left, feeling relieved she didn't actually hate him now.  
  
He had timed perfectly; just as he closed the kitchen door behind him, Snape entered through the front door. Lupin took some decisive steps towards him, slowed down, and lifted his arms like a zombie, just before he reached Snape.  
  
Snape merely raised an eyebrow, and asked, "What on earth are you planning, Lupin?"  
  
"Bother bother bother bother bother bother," Lupin said, pinching Snape softly wherever he could reach him.  
  
"AAAAAGH!" shrieked Snape, and ran for it.  
  
Lupin was thoroughly satisfied. 


	4. The Day Lupin Kept The Loo Locked For Ho...

A/N: This fic is dedicated to the wonderful Elanor and the fantastic Leila, who gave me this idea.  
  
The Day Lupin Kept The Loo Locked For Hours On End While Everyone Had Just Drunk Loads Of Mrs Weasley's Tea  
  
It was past teatime, and everyone had their good share of Mrs Weasley's finest tea so far. It wasn't Mrs Weasley's fault, though, that it made everyone want to go to the loo badly. Mad-Eye Moody was the first to go, suspicious to check the little room before anyone else left something offensive there.  
  
He tried the door. It was locked.  
  
"Who's on there?" growled Moody.  
  
"It's me," Lupin's voice came from within. "I'm suffering from a lot of cramped up you-know-what!"  
  
"And I needed to know that particular detail?" growled Moody, slightly moodier.  
  
"Erm, no, not really," acknowledged Lupin.  
  
"Right. Just get on with it, will you?" Moody said, poking the door with his walking-stick.  
  
"Yes, yes," said Lupin, and he started to hum. Moody rolled both his eyes.  
  
Half an hour later, there already was a small queue forming outside the loo. People from everywhere in the house had come to the first floor loo, since the others had run out of paper.  
  
"Is he hurrying up?" Tonks called to Moody from somewhere halfway down the queue.  
  
"Not really," grumbled Moody, hopping on the spot.  
  
Some random girl called Beata growled and left the story to find a loo in the faculty building.  
  
Another half hour later and the queue was longer, still. Moody was now hopping very frantically on his healthy leg and up and down the line people were standing with their knees together, pulling odd faces.  
  
"Come ON, Lupin! Aren't you finished yet?" yelled Snape, doing some strange jig almost at the end of the waiting-row.  
  
"No, sorry!" yelled Lupin back. There was the sound of a raspberry and everyone went, "UUUGH!"  
  
"Sorry 'bout that," Lupin said weakly through the still locked door.  
  
"That's it," said Moody angrily, after another fifteen minutes. "I've had it." He spotted a small begonia. "You look like an obliging little plant," he told it, hopping nearer and nearer. "You mind if I relief myself a little on your shoulder?"  
  
Of course, the plant did not respond (though I daresay it would have shrieked in fear and disgust if it could have), so Moody unzipped his fly and gave the begonia a large and extensive shower.  
  
"Ah," he growled in a relieved way. "That's loads better."  
  
"Right," said Mrs Weasley, handing out teacups. "I know it might be repulsive, but everyone, please, feel free to empty your bladder at your heart's content in these cups."  
  
Everyone quickly grabbed a cup and ran for a private place in the house.  
  
Only a few seconds after everyone had gone, the loo flushed and Lupin opened the door. He looked around in surprise.  
  
"Are you the only one waiting?" he asked Leila - another random fangirl - who was still waiting. "I thought there would be more. Oh well, here you go."  
  
He stepped out of the loo, and the girl dashed in.  
  
"Strange," mused Lupin. "Where is everyone? Ah, I'll go wait for them in the kitchen and make some tea. They'll like that." 


	5. The Day Lupin Got Chased Around The Hous...

The Day Lupin Got Chased Around The House Mercilessly By Snape Because He Put Sneeze-Powder In The Potions Master's Soup  
  
"I really don't have time for this now," Lupin breathed, as he sprinted along one of the upstairs corridors. "Professor Snape is closing in on me!"  
  
He ran away quickly and hid in another story. 


	6. The Day Lupin And Sirius Threw A Party

The Day Lupin And Sirius Threw A Party At Grimmauld Place And Invited Many Strange People  
  
It was late at night on an early spring day. Lupin was hanging around outside number twelve, in order to get all the people they had invited into the house. Most of them had no idea how to get in, since the house was only visible to people who knew where it was.  
  
A few more guests arrived by car.  
  
"Hello, I'm over here," Lupin called at them, as one of them locked the car's doors.  
  
"Ah, good, I was afraid we wouldn't be able to find it," said one of them, a man with remarkably blue eyes.  
  
"No faith in my navigation skills, Jason?" said another man, with a remarkable voice.  
  
"No, no," said the man called Jason apologetically, "that's not it, I just thought that I didn't see a number twelve."  
  
"That's right," said Lupin, leading them to a bare patch of earth next to number thirteen. "Just think of the address, okay?"  
  
The small group of people did what they were asked, although the man who had obviously navigated them seemed somewhat cynical.  
  
And there it was, number twelve, in all its gory.  
  
"Okay, since you're the last to arrive, I'm going in with you," whispered Lupin, opening the front door. "But, please, be QUIET!" The others nodded and he went in first to lead them to the kitchen.  
  
The kitchen was crammed with people. The most surprising bit about it was the fact that, apart from Lupin, Sirius and Tonks, the guests were all Muggles.  
  
"Never been in a place like this before," commented Jason, looking around him.  
  
There were apparently people from all around Europe; this reflected in their accents, tones of their skins and their dress. There was a small group of young women standing around Sirius, sighing at every word he said. Lupin caught a drift from his monologue as he passed.  
  
".........but personally, I think I like you best," Sirius was telling a small, pretty, dark-haired girl. "You had gripped my attention as soon as you came in; I love latex." He softly stroked her cheek with his index and she swooned.  
  
In another corner of the room, a group of girls and men was gathered round Tonks, who avidly drank in all their attention, questions and open admiration.  
  
Lupin preferred to settle back with a drink, and he had just started a conversation with his small Dutch friend, Jason and someone who called herself a 'cheese lover' (this had somehow made Jason slightly nervous), when Snape came sweeping in.  
  
"Lupin," he called form the door. "I have removed that horrible painting. What do I get in return?"  
  
Lupin never needed to answer this question, because as soon as Snape had finished, a gulf of goth girls carried him into the kitchen and started to caress him.  
  
"Remus," said Sirius suspiciously, "what painting is he talking about?"  
  
"The painting of your mother, Padfoot," Lupin said, grinning slightly.  
  
"Moony!" exclaimed Sirius, flinging his arms around Lupin. "That's a marvellous birthday present!"  
  
"But – it's not your birthday," said Lupin, frowning.  
  
"I don't care," said Sirius, releasing his friend and grinning broadly.  
  
Not long after Snape's message, the guests were spread all around the house, making far too much noise. Lupin didn't care, as long as they had fun.  
  
Around five in the morning, he became a bit tired, and since he usually slept through far worse noise, he decided to say good bye to the people still left in the kitchen and make for his room.  
  
When he opened the door, he saw someone was already there.  
  
"Oh, sorry," he told Snape and twenty or so goth girls, who were occupying his bed. "I'll go somewhere else."  
  
He finally found a small place next to Buckbeak in the straw that covered the floor of the Hippogriff's room.  
  
"Good night, Beaky," said Lupin, and fell into a deep sleep. 


	7. The Day Lupin Misunderstood Professor Mc...

A/N: My sincere apologies for the late arrival of this update... Busy times at the Ministry.... Anyway, here is another instalment of Lupinish weirdness.  
  
The Day Lupin Misunderstood Professor McGonagall  
  
One bright summery afternoon, the Order of the Phoenix had another gathering in the damp kitchen of 12, Grimmauld Place.  
  
Minerva McGonagall was going down the small stairs to the kitchen door, when she bumped into Lupin and accidentally dropped her book.  
  
"Oach denoo!" she cried exasperatedly.  
  
"Bless you," said Lupin friendly.  
  
"I wasn't sneezing!" McGonagall said, a little annoyed.  
  
Lupin had already walked on. 


	8. The Day Lupin Uttered Polysyllabic Words

The Day Lupin Uttered Polysyllabic Words  
  
"I find it a sad thing Hagrid is such a gravitationally challenged person," Lupin said thoughtfully over breakfast one morning.  
  
"A what?" said Sirius.  
  
"An obese person," muttered Mrs Weasley into Sirius's general direction.  
  
"A what?" said Sirius.  
  
"A FAT person," said Mrs Weasley grumpily.  
  
"Oh," Sirius said, wondering how on earth Remus could form polysyllabic words in his brain.  
  
"Sirius, you're a MENTALLY challenged person," Mrs Weasley said.  
  
"A what?" said Sirius. 


	9. The Day Lupin And Sirius Went To A Club

A/N: This story was written for Nanja, who is an avid fan of slash. That means, if you don't like slash, GO AWAY. Thank you.  
  
And don't complain.  
  
The Day Lupin And Sirius Went To A Club And Met No Nice Girls But Did Not Come Home Empty Handed  
  
It was Friday night, and a cool breeze played around the streets of London. Lupin and Sirius had planned to get into the bright city nightlife, and were preparing.  
  
Sirius had hexed his hair to be a little bit lighter and shorter, he had shaved himself and generally made certain not one accidental wizard would recognise him.  
  
Remus had brushed his teeth, combed his hair, put on his best shirt, trousers and All Stars, and plainly stayed good, old Lupin, but only in a slightly more going-outish way.  
  
They went on foot and by tube into the very heart of the district which had most interesting clubs.  
  
It was a very nice evening. They met a lot of girls who seemed interested, especially in Sirius – as was usual. Lupin smiled shyly at many cute looking girls, but they didn't seem to interested in him.  
  
When it was nearly four in the morning, and Sirius and Lupin had had their good share of dancing, girls-watching and drinks, Sirius took Lupin my the arm and dragged him into the loos.  
  
"What's wrong, Padfoot?" asked Lupin, a little alarmed.  
  
"I'm bored with all these girls, Moons," said Sirius, swaying a little on his feet, while still holding onto Lupin's shirt. "They're all the same. They don't want to get to know me, or you, they want to shag immediately. Preferably in the corner of some ally, so they can get back to check out some more geezers afterwards."  
  
"What do you want then?" said Lupin.  
  
"I want to go home," grumbled Sirius, and he let go of Lupin's shirt and fell on the ground. Lupin pulled him up and dragged him out of the club.  
  
"I told you sixteen double vodkas wouldn't do you good," he muttered.  
  
They reached Grimmauld Place without further retching. It was pretty odd, to stand there like that, Lupin thought.  
  
"Would you like to come in for some... coffee?" Sirius said, hiccoughing.  
  
Lupin raised an eyebrow. "But I live here, too!"  
  
"Shh! I know!" Sirius said, a little annoyed. "Just play along, would you?"  
  
"Oh, okay," said Lupin, not certain if it really was. "Erm, yes, I'd like some coffee."  
  
Sirius took Lupin by the hand and led him up the stairs surprisingly quietly. He closed the bedroom door behind him, and started to caress Lupin's chest.  
  
Lupin was shocked at this. "What do you think you're doing?" he said.  
  
"Sssh," hushed Sirius, still gently caressing Lupin. "Just one night."  
  
"You're drunk," Lupin said, but he let his friend do.  
  
Sirius went on, and strangely enough Lupin didn't mind that much. When Sirius moved in to kiss him, he closed his eyes and answered the kiss by parting his lips.  
  
When Mrs Weasley came to check on Sirius to see if he had arrived home at all, she was met with the most disturbing thing she had ever seen.  
  
Laying in bed with Sirius was no other than Remus Lupin, who drowsily waved at her.  
  
Mrs Weasley shrieked and ran for her life. 


End file.
